Saying goodbye to summer

We don't do the beach in the middle of summer. It's like a form of torture, especially for my insanely white family (except Noah apparently tans even with 30+ sunscreen?). The sunburn, the crowds, the heat... just not our thing. So we wait until school is back in session, and then we head down to Kiawah. We've been going since I was 14, and even though it's gotten way more popular since then and a few big changes have been made, it's still like going home.

 (in case you're curious, yes I did get my hair redone. It's in the middle of a rescue operation in order to get me back to a more natural color. I kind of love the color now though... hard to tell exactly here, but it's more of a dark red brunette)

 Over the years, we've brought different friends along with us. This time, we brought our buddy Chase (I'm sure you figured that...). I think Brad enjoyed having a guy friend around, and I liked having the extra set of hands to help with Noah. :)

 (okay, seriously... it looks like they hired a photographer to take pictures of them with their son. lol. I'm in like 2 pictures from this whole trip. I really need to get better about that.)

 Brad got to play golf on the island for the first time ever (he scored a great deal). Chase tagged along with him for that and got a few phone pics.

One afternoon, Noah and Brad were both exhausted, so I took Chase for a tour of the island. I showed him all the insanely massive summer homes of all the surgeons, lawyers, and celebrities. We both agreed that if we ever had enough money to build something like that, we wouldn't. Mainly because just the cost to build something like that could feed an underprivileged family for a year.

However, this one is my dream home. I love it so much. I'd never need all that space, but it sure is beautiful.

I also showed him the Oceancourse where they had the 2012 PGA Championship. We also used to take our truck out there and drive to the end of the island to fish.

He's officially branched out on his own business-wise. He does web design, SEO, and other nerd like things that make my brain hurt. Anyway, he needed some updated shots of himself, so we had some fun and did a photoshoot while we were there. And since neither one of us work for free, we traded... he's in the middle of designing a whole new website for my photography business, and I gave him new pictures. I love a good trade. :)

(to see more from the shoot, go here)

The price of fish there is ridiculous, especially when you can just catch your own. So that's what we did. We caught dinner.

It was a lot of fun. At least until the monsoon hit. Oh and until the gator in our back yard came after our fish. Yeah, that wasn't as fun.

It ended up being the perfect trip. The perfect goodbye to summer. Noah had so much fun, he didn't want to leave. When we got back home, he climbed back in his car seat and asked to go bye-bye. :) I felt the same way.

homeschooling

When people ask me about our plans for Noah's education, and I tell them, I usually get one of two responses:

1). Delight, followed by "Cool! My sister/aunt/friend/mom/neighbor does that and it works great for them! You'll love it!" It's also usually followed by a bajillion suggestions and ideas that make my head spin.

or?

2). Absolute horror. Visions of a jean jumpers, butter churning, and a socially deprived kid jump in their heads.

That's it. The only two responses.

The sad part is that I'm constantly put on the defensive team. I immediately feel I owe everyone an explanation... a good two years worth of a background story, just to justify to them why we've come to this decision for our family.

I could go into why there are way more pros than cons in our case. How Noah learns best without a bunch of distractions and with one-on-one attention. I could go into the bullying issues, potty training issues, how our local public school systems suck, how private is a fortune (especially with special needs), how I can encourage his love of math while teaching him self-care skills, and on and on.

But I won't.

Instead, I'll explain it in an entirely different way.

It's no secret that I'm a woman of faith. I trust God to provide direction in our lives, to lead our family in the way He wants us to go. We pray regularly for wisdom and that He will make His desires for our lives clear to us.
Growing up, I thought homeschoolers were weird. My best friend was homeschooled, but she was an exception to my (very prejudiced) rule. I loved school, and from the time I was a kid, I never wanted to homeschool my kids. That was for weirdos that dressed badly and didn't use shampoo.

We've spent the last year trying to figure out what we're going to do when Noah finally does hit the magic age of 5. Every time I've prayed for direction, God sends someone my way. You know those big red flags? Like He might as well have just put a big flashy billboard in front of you? Well, I've had multiple billboards. Especially when I begin to doubt my decision to homeschool Noah for preschool and kindergarten.

God continues to put people in my path... the majority being parents of special needs kids, who either homeschool or wish they did. I've listened to a mom, with tears in her eyes, tell me how if her husband would just agree, that she'd homeschool in a heartbeat. Moms who have been down the special needs mainstream route, with way too many horror stories to tell here, only to finally make the decision to homeschool. I'm meeting these women everywhere, not just in places where special needs is prevalent (like the therapy clinic).
A couple of weeks ago, God put another mom in my path whose son is 16 and has autism. I was at the salon getting my hair done, and we struck up a conversation. This woman has homeschooled him from the beginning, before they even knew was autism was. I asked how it's gone for them, and she said that his therapists tell her regularly that it was the best decision she could've ever made for him. He's intelligent, well-rounded, social, and has very few behavioral issues.

I've met people who have been there. Who have given me more resources than I could've ever found on my own. Who have offered advice, wisdom, encouragement, and experience.

God keeps placing these people in my path for a reason. I can't explain it other than I'm trusting my "mom instinct" that this is the right decision for Noah at this particular moment in time.

This is not to say that I will be a homeschool mom forever. That this decision won't change. Tomorrow God could put another billboard in front of me that flashes "send him here!" But until then, I'm sticking with what I know is right for Noah right now.

where we've been

Unintentional blogging breaks are both good and bad. Good, because it means I'm out doing (hopefully) fun things... spending time with my family and friends, booking more work, therapy, trips to the beach, and just getting outside.

Worst slide ever...

Love  family (and boyfriends) that are totally cool to play with Noah the way he loves to play. :)

 Blog breaks are also kind of bad though, because I miss what's going on with my bloggy buds.

......

Noah's therapies at the school have begun again. I'm still not thrilled with his OT. She's a nice girl, but she's kind of clueless.
Like last week? She had this sudden epiphany that "he seems to really like pressure on his back".

<insert me trying to control my "are you kidding me" expression>

Um... yeah. We had that figured out about a year ago. And she got her start in physical therapy. She should know this stuff. But whatever. She's free.
He has a new school speech therapist this year, and she seems really nice. According to his private SLP (who is AMAZING), she's fresh from the farm (aka. school), which explains why she seemed really excited to get to work with Noah. She's not even certified yet. She sweet thing isn't jaded yet from our crappy school system. haha.

To get an idea of how bad our schools are... Angie, our private SLP, is the best speech therapist we've ever encountered (*ahem* IRL, bc we love our online SLP bud Gina). She's amazing and in the two months she's had Noah, he's saying more than he ever has. Not when she's present of course, because they have a major love/hate relationship. But at home? The boy is talking so so much (mostly scripting, meaning he's repeating clips to shows). She remembers kids from previous years at school, to the point where if one happens to walk into the therapy clinic, she runs to give them a hug.
She's the reason Noah's sleep has improved. Like insanely better. Like he's asleep before midnight and up before 9am. <insert angels singing hallelujah chorus>

Because she's awesome, you would think the schools would be so thankful to have her. But not our schools. She's already warned me not to mention her name to them. That it may have the opposite result of what I would want. lol. The reason? She advocates for the kids. She fights to get them GOOD services, more therapy time, and more therapists. I love her, and the fact that even she has to fight for these kids only solidifies my decision for Noah's school (again, more on that later).

...

Noah now knows his ABC's. He's obsessed with letters now, so I got him some of those awful refrigerator magnets that will probably be crammed underneath the fridge before too long. But since putting them up, he's made me sing the alphabet song 5348503945 times. If I stop mid-song, he'll say whatever letter I've landed on, which is how I test what he's retaining. It's pretty awesome. And his "Du-ooo" ("W") is adorable. I stop on that one almost every time, just to hear him say it. haha

...

Now to go catch up on my blogs!
Happy Monday!

Last birthday post, I swear

Normally, since it's already September (yay!), I would just skip over this last birthday post of Noah's. Except that a moment at this party caused Brad and I to want to cry (for a good reason). So I have to document.

We meet at my grandparents' house with the majority of my dad's family once a month to celebrate everyone's birthdays. In August, we have Noah, my little brother, and my uncle.

This is my dad's "baby" brother. He's about 6'4" and the youngest of the four of them. Crazy, huh? haha

 

After dinner, we usually gather around in the kitchen and sing happy birthday. All Noah wanted was some ice cream, so my dad had already gotten him set up in the dining room when it was time to sing. They went ahead and sang to my uncle and brother. And instead of just moving on and assuming Noah would be fine, they picked up his cupcakes, gathered around him in the dining room, and sang happy birthday again, just for him.

 

He just looked around at everyone, amazed that they were singing to him. It was such a sweet moment. My family is awesome.

Outside, they have a wooden porch swing attached to my granddaddy's workshop/garage. We've been working on strengthening his core muscles. He hates to use them, but that swing? It's the best workout for him, and he doesn't even realize it. He no longer leans back the whole time. He now holds himself up, even when it changes direction.

And he's finally letting some of the family members love on him beyond just a quick hug and kiss. My cousin's wife Breanne soaked this moment up for sure. She told me how she's been waiting so long for Noah to let her love on him and this totally made her night.

So now you see why I couldn't just skip this one. There's just too much sweetness to ignore. My family has just amazed me with how much they love Noah and accept him for who he is. We're all pretty country, and several of them didn't know anything about Autism when he was diagnosed. But instead of being weird around him, they've done the exact opposite. Even my granddaddy, who is a total strong-Southern-man type, tries to interact, love on, and encourage Noah anytime he can. It's really sweet.

My family is awesome.

advocacy

This walk of special needs parenting is an interesting one.

I realized today, looking back on the last year, that once you get that official diagnosis? The learning curve is insanely steep, both for the kid and for the parents. Especially for the parents.

It's just not something most people even consider when they have kids. When you have a baby, you kind of assume everything's going to be fine. I mean, obviously every kid has their own challenges. But for the most part, major developmental issues aren't really on a typical parent's radar.

This last year has brought a lot of learning for us. Words like "low tone", "neurotypical", "joint compressions", "vestibular input", and so on... had zero meaning to us. We went from being the parents of a cute toddler to being advocates of a child with autism.

The logistics of helping Noah are just the tip of the iceberg. Nobody prepared me for the emotional roller coaster.  Watching all the other kids at the park play together while your sweet boy wanders around alone? Or having kids, younger than him, ask me why he doesn't talk? It's like a punch in the stomach. I want so badly to make this world work for him. It's getting better, due to so many kids being diagnosed. But it's still a constant worry in the back of my mind.

Then there are the battles. Fighting for your child against the people who are supposed to be on his side. I'm so thankful for the therapists that are good. That get attached to their kids and love them wholeheartedly. That spend their off time researching and learning. Who find the words, "I love you" spontaneously come out when talking to my little boy. The ones who offer encouragement, new ideas, and advice... knowing we're all on the same team? They're the ones I will always thank God for.
But when the school's speech therapist says she wants to combine three therapists into a closet of a room and work with Noah at the same time for 30 minutes? That's when I have a hard time trusting people's judgement. As if that's even enough time for one therapist. Or like one of my friend whose child's teacher didn't remember what grade he was supposed to be in. Things like that make you both nervous and defensive.

I'm having to make a tough phone call this year. It's my very first, and I hope it'll be my last. Last year, I was concerned about the OT the school assigned to Noah. We pay privately for an OT, and that woman has become like family to us. This other girl though? Oh my word. It's sad. She and Noah just didn't click. They didn't understand each other. I wish I'd spoken up last year and requested a different one, but I kept hoping it would improve. He has her again this year. I mentioned the issue with his private OT and SLP. The SLP kind of side-eyed me and asked, "Is it -----?" (taking her name out, just in case). I couldn't believe it. Apparently, this OT has a reputation of not connecting to her students well. She's a very nice person, which makes this call so hard for me. I'm a people pleaser by nature, and I hate to offend anyone. But I have to stand up for my kid and try to find a better alternative.

I don't really know where this post is going. Just say a prayer for me as I try to figure this out. I hate upsetting people, but in the end, I can't spend another year regretting my decision to continue with this particular therapist.

still here.

I'm feeling a little all-over-the-place lately. Just lots going on. I haven't read any of my regular blogs lately (like since I blogged last...), but based on the titles in my feed? Pretty sure I'm not the only one feeling this way. School has started back, people are trying to find their groove again, and life has just gotten a little busier all of a sudden. It's understandable.

In our little world, we have friends getting married next weekend (we're both in the wedding), so we're gearing up for that. Our buddy Chase is officially moved into his new place, and we've been spending a ton of time hanging out with him. He also had some friends in town, so of course, we all spent the last few days like we were on vacation. Except not, because Brad still had to work.

We've gone swimming, bowling, out for ice cream, watched movies... just lots of fun stuff. Things I don't get to do all that often, and it's been really nice.

 

Outside of pretending we're young college kids with no responsibilities (ha!), the rest of our time has been spent just soaking up Noah's cuteness. Little moments that are priceless. Like how he's learned to take his shoes and socks on and off (almost) completely by himself.

Playing in mud puddles...

 

Or when he grabs my hand and takes me for a walk. It melts my heart, even when he decides he's too tired to keep going, and I have to figure out how to convince him to walk the rest of the way home. haha

 

So not a whole lot of anything in particular going on. Just lots of little things taking up most of the time that I  normally would've spent blogging. :)

Hope everyone's first week back to school is going (or went, depending on where you are) well! I'll be back with more eventually!