I hit a Jaguar the other day. It was just a little fender bender, so we're all okay. I've only been in two minor accidents, and the other was back in college with a BMW. What made the whole scenario even better was that the guy kept telling me how much his car costs. Apparently, I just have great taste. Go big or go home.
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Parents have to deal with onslaughts of opinions all of the time. Usually from random friends that aren't in their daily lives or, even better, complete strangers. So take all those opinions about your typical kid that you've heard over the years and multiply it by like 5000. That's life as a parent with a special needs kid. Especially with autism, which can be kind of vague considering how wide the spectrum is. People don't get that each kid with autism is different. I get messages and comments all the time recommending such-and-such because it "cured" so-and-so of his particular form of autism. Those are the days when it's tempting to delete my Facebook account. :)
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I've decided I like being a "small" photographer. I have zero desire to be insanely popular or highly sought after. Kind of like with blogging. I like my own space. I like not having the crazy amounts of stress and pressure that come along with high-maintenance clients. I'm blessed in that I don't have to work in order for us to survive. And because of that, I can focus the majority of my energy on Noah. My time with my family is precious to me, and if I feel like a job isn't going to be worth it? I won't take it. I like having that freedom. I don't ever want the joy that photography brings me to be overshadowed by the stress that usually comes with the business side. I want to continue to learn and grow, but have it be on my terms. I want to continue to document my own kid's life in beautiful pictures instead of only documenting others.
And like with above, there are a lot of voices that I've had to learn to ignore in the industry. I've had to take a break and think about what I want out of this. What works for me. And right now, for this stage in my life? I want to keep it small.
Don't get me wrong though. Small doesn't equal inferior. I want to be good. Really good. But "good" and "popular" don't always have to coincide. I don't measure my success by the way the rest of the world looks at it. I don't need to book 50 weddings a year or travel the country in order to consider myself a good photographer. If that's how others are measuring the success of their business, that's totally cool. Nothing wrong with that. That's just not my prerogative. My biggest success is sitting next to me watching Bob the Builder.
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I'm ready for a new week.
One where I don't get in any car accidents, accidentally screw up, get PMS-y, be given guilt trips about my kid, and slack off on working out. And maybe one with a couple of sunny days?
Happier posts coming soon.
Just needed to let my heart breathe a little.
3 comments:
Don't listen to the noise from other people about Noah. Only listen to what your Pediatrician tells you. That's my ass vice. :-) I'll never forget when my sister told me we weren't doing enough for Henry. I was so mad at her I couldn't talk to her for a couple months.
Wow - a Jaguar? That's something that would happen to me!!
I think you are talented photographer. Just let your business grow and take on what you can handle. As long as you are enjoying it. Right?
I think you are such an awesome mom!!! It would be my luck that D would hit the jag since he's always driving in LKN. You are an extremely talented photographer you are absolutely right that the size of your business does not correlate to the quality of your work!!!
When I was 16, it took me forever to screw up the courage to take driver's ed. I didn't grow up with the southern mentality of getting a driver's license on the day of your 16th birthday, so I had very little practice behind the wheel. On my first day out in the car with the instructor, I narrowly missed a Porsche, a Jaguar, and a BMW. I remember wondering what those fancy cars were even doing in our small town!
I think the theme of your post is that sometimes you need to shut other people's opinions out. In my case, the know-it-alls either paralyze me or infuriate me. All the people who suggest that my multiple sclerosis would go away if only I ate better and took vitamin supplements not only annoy me, but hurt my cause. It took ages to get my husband to understand that being overweight did NOT cause my MS and losing weight would not make it go away. When it comes to other things like hobbies, there is so much advice about how to do things the right way that I end up not trying at all. I've been wanting to try quilting for years, but I can't afford to buy all the tools that quilters supposedly "need", so I have given it a go.
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